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Consists of such riveting entries as "homework sucks" and "I slept until noon today." BLUBBER: Weeping and whaling. A person who possesses a killer body but has a face that only a mother could love. Small living things that small living boys throw on small living girls. An aspect of a computer program which exists because the programmer was thinking about Jumbo Jacks or stock options when s/he wrote the program. CANTELOPE: A species similar to the antelope, who can't do anything. CASH FLOW: The movement my money makes as it disappears down the toilet. ECRASTINATE: Checking your e-mail just one more time in the hopes you'll have something to read or write and not have to do any work. ELBONICS: The actions of two people manoeuvring for one armrest in a movie theatre. ENEMY: A designing scoundrel who has done you some service which it is inconvenient to repay. LICENCE NUMBER: Best thing to take when you're run down.

BODY NAZIS: Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively. BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BUREAUCRACY: a method of turning energy into solid waste. BURGACIDE: When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals. CABBAGE: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. CANDIDATE: A person who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other. CAT: A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle. Also the latest technology found in ghettos - overtaking the more common "boom box". ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. A person of low taste more interested in himself than in me. ELECELLERATION: The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive. e LATIONSHIP: This refers to a couple (friends, lovers and suchlike) that know each other only via online correspondence (e-mail, chat rooms, etc). EMETIC: A substance that causes the stomach to take a sudden and enthusiastic interest in outside affairs. ENGINERD: All engineers, especially ones that hang out and look at computer dating services all day. One who's too poor to be a capitalist, too rich to be a communist.

ABDICATE: To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. ABSENT: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered. ACCOUNTANT: One who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. ACTION: The last resource of those who know not how to dream. ACUTE ANGLE: 38"-24"-36" ADAM'S APPLE: A protuberance in the throat of man thoughtfully provided by nature to keep the rope in place. ARACHNOLEPTIC FIT: The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. BALLOT: A simple device by which a majority proves to a minority the folly of resistance. BANDIT: A person who takes by force from A what A has taken by guile from B. BEER COAT: The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We owe each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps." Y-CHROMOSOME: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, grubby toilet seats, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost. ZERO DEFECTS: The result of shutting down a production line. ZIONISM: The problem of which it purports to be the solution.

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Software is the instructions that a computer uses to do what you ask it to.

From the World Wide Web error message “404 - Not Found”, meaning that the requested web page could not be located. ABSTAINER: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. ARCHAEOLOGIST: A person whose career lies in ruins. ATHIEST: One who does not believe in God but is still holier than thou. AUCTION: A popular social gathering where you change a horse from a financial liability into a liquid asset. AUDITOR: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. AUSTRALIAN KISS: Same as French Kiss, only down under. AWESININE: Stupidly brilliant, or brilliantly stupid. Describes an idea or work whose chief virtue is its overwhelming, unadulterated dumbness. Term of endearment, usually used by people having sexual intercourse with one another. BARGAIN: Something you can't use at a price you can't resist. BEFUCKLED: Commonly used in military HQ's, characterized by extreme confusion, and genuine, profound disorientation. LONGEVITY: Uncommon extension of the fear of death. LORENA BOBBITT VIRUS: Reformats your hard drive into a 3” floppy, then discards it through Windows. ZONED OUT: Similar to daydreaming, zoning out usually involves obscure subject matter such as how toothpicks are made or what will happen when squirrels take over the world.

Afterwards it outputs, or displays, the results for you to see.

Data is all kinds of information, including, pictures, letters, numbers, and sounds.

ADVERTISING AGENCY: Eighty-five percent confusion and fifteen percent commission. AIRCRAFT: A flying ship considered by most studies to be the safest form of transport, at least while it remains aloft. APOLOGISE: To lay the foundation for a future offence. Generally a military term which refers to the large, blocky glasses issued to military personnel who require the use of corrective lenses. MARITAL FREEDOM: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making two in all. Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out. TECHNICOLOUR LAWN: The front yard after a rave party. TELECRASTINATION: The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away. TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE: The consummation of a relationship via SMS messages. TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour-saving devices of today. TREEWARE: Documents made of paper, in contrast to electronic documents. ULTIMATUM: In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions. YANKEE: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself. YORKSHIREMAN: A Scotsman with the generosity removed.